Why i became a sex worker.

Of course I never set out to be a prostitute although, at one point I wanted to be a stripper, I was ten! Thanks to my brothers American pie DVDs, yes remember DVDS? I remember at school wondering what I would do when I was older. Are we meant to know so young? 20 years later and I’m still wondering. For me I had no idea, I’m sure I made up a conventional answer when asked by the teacher, I guess I didn’t want to be judged by my answer, even at that age. I didn’t really have many hobbies apart from playing with my brats dolls, I was pretty average at school, I’m sure other children knew the answer straight away. ‘I want to be a doctor, I want to be a race car driver or singer’ for me I just didn’t know, maybe I’m just happy to not be put in a category for the rest of my life and be judged by a job title.

I didn’t wake up and decide to be a sex worker I mean do people do that? I suppose it just happened, of course things happen, bad crowds, bad choices and bad people. I always thought I was too shy, too quiet to ever be involved in that sort of lifestyle but life is full of surprises. Like many I struggled with school and college in fact I hated going to school as a little one, I didn’t see the point of going to school to play with other children when I was pretty content playing on my own. I’ve always kept a small number of friends and that suited me pretty well even till this day.

I found sex work lonely but in a way I enjoyed my company, I worked for myself ,I was pretty laid back meaning work sometimes didn’t start till 1pm, I’ve always been a night owl and would be up till late. The song ‘wicked and lazy’ comes to mind, I’m sure this song was wrote about me, in fact I’m sure of it. I enjoyed the money until I developed a drug habit, then money just became a necessity for addiction rather than for luxury. Eventually fast money became tiresome and un-thrilling. Once I made it, it usually would be gone in an instance and by that I mean up my nose.

Sex is great when you’re not being smothered by hairy, overweight men, unless that’s your thing. A lot of the men were nice and polite, it made up for the assholes. I guess assholes are everywhere and are not immune to certain jobs. Did I enjoy getting robbed and assaulted? No, but it was better than working in a 9–5 office, sitting in the employee lunch canteen doing small talk with people you deep down despise, especially when you’re socially awkward like me. I would pick the hairy overweight men over that anytime.

Maybe I should have come out of the industry full of confidence. Men desiring me should have made me feel more powerful but I came out with more insecurities than when I first started. I’m 27 now and in the sex world that’s pretty old. I guess you could say I’ve now retired although without much retire money to retire on, due to my own bad choices. We live and we learn. But one thing that has happened… I became strong and empowered, in a different way. I have learnt a whole new level of self-love, something that money and people could never buy or give. I have learnt about myself, accepted the past me and learnt to respect the past me too. And here I am. Still growing and thriving ready for the next chapter to begin.