Finally, something the UK government has got right. Their latest report shows Online pornography showing strangulation or suffocation is to be made illegal, as part of government plans to tackle violence against women and girls.
This is just the first step, I believe porn should be banned full stop. I’ve experienced porn addiction myself, I’ve unfortunately experienced the dark path it takes you down, seeking more depraved videos and feeling shame and disgust afterwards. The effect on men has a huge impact, I’m a woman and I’ve seen first hand how porn can taint loving relationships, men seeking more than just sex itself, pushing the limits, referring to sex as vanilla or boring if it doesn’t have any rough or borderline violent sexual aspects. It’s causing our desires to become more darker, deranged and animalistic.
We can have kinks, sure. I’ve explored many kinks over the years, tried many things, a previous escort, a young woman, vulnerable, naive, letting men pay to do what they like to me. Men didn’t want a just a blowjob, they wanted deep throat, choking and gagging. Wanting to recreate videos with me they’ve masterbated to, hiding from their wife in the next room. You see these are the type of videos porn promotes and encourages as normal, yes some may argue this is a kink, a turn on, I get that, though it shouldn’t be expected or normalised for women, women shouldn’t have to feel pressured to portray these acts, I did.
Its is a grey area, sure, a touchy subject for many, though, I don’t believe erotica should be banned or made to feel bad. Though it shouldn’t be promoted either. The UK government finally decided on something for our younger generation, especially the younger boys, if certain acts are banned, it shows it’s not the norm. Conventional sex is not a turn anymore, normal won’t make men hard, they need more, they need you to do what the women in the video did, even though she perhaps isn’t enjoying it, porn is somewhat fake, a fantastic fantasy , FYI this is reality. They need women to be degraded to be turned on, uh oh we have a serious problem.
It’s a difficult one, we don’t want to become a country where erotica becomes illegal or morally wrong, sex has already been degraded. I have a love hate relationship with sex. Sex ruined parts of my life, abuse, rape, grooming, I’ve witnessed it all, yet I don’t want to hate it, I want to share it with my loving partner, I want to still experience the connection between us through sex, though sex has been tainted for me and many women and men.
Maybe this can’t be fixed. I wish sex wasn’t what it is, because it can be beautiful, something I’ve learnt through experience, both terrible and good, throughout history sex has been used and abused. Human nature? We need to change things, and no we shouldn’t go all conservative. Balance right?!
Lust and love have a very thin line, just like love and hate.
So, should porn be banned?
I think so, although I don’t think it’s so black and white, perhaps certain porn should be. Underage role play should, violent porn should, degrading porn should. Finger to your kink. If you find women being degraded the thing that turns you on, maybe you should start looking within and wondering why the hell it does?! Do you deem this normal? Because it’s not, despite kinks. Underlying issues. Perhaps ask yourself why you hate women. Feel the shame.
In the current era, a significant number of individuals are involved in platforms such as OnlyFans. This phenomenon has become increasingly prevalent, to the extent that you either know someone who has an OnlyFans or unknowingly know someone that uses it (thankfully) . It’s becoming more and more accepting and less taboo…But is this a good thing?
The year 2020 witnessed a surge in individuals joining such platforms, a trend that was accentuated by the conditions of the pandemic. While I actually personally explored involvement in OnlyFans, it is important to note that this observation is made without prejudice. Notably, these platforms have empowered women, providing them with greater independence and control over their content and earnings, in contrast to traditional forms of adult entertainment (PORN). Nonetheless, it is crucial to acknowledge the negative aspects associated with these platforms. The deeper societal implications of this trend are yet to fully materialize, and yes, we are celebrating these changes with more governments talking about legalizing prostitution. We have become a world of wokeness that has literally let women become empowered by unfortunately becoming what is dragging us slowly down: a sex object.
It is important to understand that I have a unique viewpoint on this topic and that my opinion changes daily on this subject; it’s a touchy subject that can split the room. I’m not one of these judgmental women looking from the other side of the window, judging other women. I was a sex worker from the age of 17, and I experienced all the stereotypes you associate with that world: abuse, addiction, depression, toxic men. Thankfully, I came out the other side just about. It’s giving time to reflect on my journey and heal.
I did a little digging to find women who want to talk about their stories for my blog. Of course, it’s been hard, as many women just want to forget about it, feel ashamed, and don’t even connect with the person they once were. But I’ve managed to find some stories already out there that can back me up. Unfortunately we have articles all over the place saying how glamourios it is and how much money they are making. When big headlines paint of picture of ‘Money, Independence , Luxury and fast money’ all sounds very appealing, it’s hard not be at least a little bit intrigued.
Women talk about the mental impact from being a sex worker, be it OnlyFans, porn, or escorting. From relationship troubles to suffering PTSD and nightmares, low sex drive, or a negative feeling towards sex, regardless of whether this is in loving relationships. Having problems with affection and men in general. This is all very true, it took me a while to enjoy sex in a relationship without feeling like i was constantly being used.
Now the money is the most attractive part of this job, after a while, though, it is draining. Women feel stuck in this business. These women explain how they have even felt a part missing from them when exiting the business, something I can strongly empathize with. This is something I struggled with very much and still do three years later. I didn’t know who I was anymore. It’s so much easier to go back than to start again, and I know this is a big problem in the sex industry that women are not talking about! There will come a time when life must change whether we like it or not, but leaving the industry with a lot of trauma is very hard.
It’s crucial to address the difficulties and challenges faced by individuals, especially women, in the sex industry. The allure of financial stability often draws individuals into this line of work, but the emotional toll and feeling of entrapment can lead to long-lasting struggles. The sense of loss and identity crisis upon leaving this profession is a profound experience shared by many. The fear of starting over and the prevalence of unspoken trauma within the industry contribute to the cycle of returning rather than pursuing a new path.
Recognizing the need for open conversations and support mechanisms is vital in addressing the complexities of transitioning away from the sex industry. Women’s voices and their stories need to be heard to bring about meaningful change. The journey of leaving this profession is hard, By acknowledging and addressing these challenges, we can work towards creating a more supportive environment for individuals seeking to move beyond their past experiences in the sex industry.”
One woman explained how it made her feel ’empty, lost, and numb to go from individual to individual, making no real emotional contact’. Of course, we live in a ‘Bad Bitch’ era where we have made ourselves believe we don’t need men, love, or compassion. We all need these things and are only lying to ourselves. Without these things the feminine energy cannot be nurtured and we become a cold, man hating world of women. Of course men do need to change too, and with knowledge this can also happen, i will be talking about this very soon.
I think while more women are starting to tell their stories, we shouldn’t just wait for the dismissal and impact of what is yet to come, I hope my blog can help you see a different side to the industry.
I would love to hear your opinion and lets get talking!
Are you into older men or in an age gap relationship? It’s more common than you think and that doesn’t mean you have daddy issues. Maybe you like a silver fox, maybe the idea of a more accomplished man is more attractive , from experience I’m here to tell you my top 5 tips to know while dating an older man. Time and time again we have seen age gap relationships work, take Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas for example (yes a very attractive couple) who celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary in 2022. Amazing!
I am dating someone 25 years my senior, we have been together for just over 3 years now, we started dating during Covid lockdown and soon moved in together (due to the restrictions) ,this has given me a unique perspective into seeing what it’s like to be with an older man 24 7 (literally) so let’s get into it.
I’ve never had a problem with dating an older man although, my first I can say so far so good! It can cause stereotypes and some judgement although I’ve never really had anyone have a problem with it , of course the occasional stares and “is that your daughter?” comment which is always funny, most people apologise after realising , to be honest it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, it gives us a good laugh.
If you are dating an older man please know this is completely normal and more common than you think, or course provided you are of age to make such a decision, otherwise it can be classed as grooming or damn right creepy and illegal!
That classic saying of ‘age is just a number’ can ring true. It took me a while to tell relatives about my relationship for I guess, society issues and maybe my fear of judgement. My family and friends were completely ok with it in the end, but I guess not everyone shares the same experience.
I say this with my heart – F’ what others think! It’s your life do what makes you happy and if doesn’t work out at least you have learnt. Lessons are valuable and this can resonate with any relationship, job, family life etc. Once you stop giving an F’, life becomes a whole lot easier.
Now all relationships have quarrels but being called a Millennial as an insult it quite the one! Now sure I am a Millennial blah blah blah and we were both born in different generations but frequently being told ‘back in my day we didn’t have phones, it was more fun’ or something along those lines can be causes of household debates! It’s also great to hear how much cheaper it was and how you could afford to buy a house… ok I guess I’m starting to talk like a millennial but you get my drift. The arguments can be very interesting dating an older man.
You can learn a lot from someone who has lived more years on earth, with age comes wisdom and knowledge, words of experience and encouragement. Plus I’ve found some really cool bands and artists from the 80’s that I much more enjoy listening too than modern music. He has opened my eyes too as to how women should be treated and I feel greatly appreciated for who I am. And might I add the sex is pretty damn good too!
There are many celebrity age gap relationships that have blossomed, take for example George Clooney and Amal Clooney that seemed to shock the world in 2014 with a 17 year age gap. Forward to 2023 and they are still thriving, the world doesn’t seem to care anymore. Now we all know Leonardo DiCaprio has a certain sell by date, it seems as soon as his girlfriend(s) turns 25 they are way too old, yes this is a bit bizarre and it does give a certain image of creepy but I guess all his girlfriends are over 18 (barely) and ‘hello’ its Leonardo DiCaprio so I guess he can do what he likes! Right? But it begs the question is it wrong for an older man to only want to date a younger women? I guess it could come off as ‘predator vibes’. Maturity would be a key factor here, ever heard of Peter Pan syndrome? Basically people who find it hard to grow up. Let’s be honest nobody wants a man child so bare this in mind when considering dating an older man.
5 tips on dating an older man.
1: Be prepared for compromise.
Compromise is key. All relationships have problems so bare this in mind, all relationships require some sort of compromise even if both parties are of similar age , but what compromises are needed when perhaps you are of a different generation?.
When dating we tend to gravitate towards people who may have the same music taste as us or perhaps a favorite film or TV series/hobbies and interests , sure these are not fundamental things for a successful relationship but they do help and it gives common ground for things to talk and bond over, but don’t be underwhelmed if this is not the case. I love talking to my older partner about deep issues and interesting topics, topics perhaps i’ve never thought to discuss before especially with people of my age and no we don’t end up talking about the war he’s not that old but you get the point , I found dating younger men wasn’t my cup of tea and the conversations didn’t seem to flow. Be open to new ways of looking at life.
ADVICE: learn about each other , older people can teach us great lessons in life, I’m sure you have had wise words from an older relative and it usually is the best advice so don’t be daunted by this, it’s actually a really good thing to have. Hey, he might not know much about Tik Tok or care about any of the latest Kardashian news although neither do i, just be open to all sorts. Learning about each other can be a great way to build a stable relationship, it’s exciting , mysterious and a great way to bond.
2: Different Stages in life.
Be prepared that you might be at different stages in life and that is OK. For example while dating an older man he might have already accomplished a successful career or be in a stable position whereas, you might be just starting out new and figuring things out, everyone has to start from somewhere . I think this is also a great position to be in as it gives you more free time to be able to figure out what you want while being supported . The downside to this is it could cause friction , it can be a lonely place when your trying to make something of yourself while other people around you may have it already ‘figured‘ out
ADVICE: No matter how old you are , nobody has life figured out , it’s a lie , we assume as we get older life magically figures itself out…News flash it doesn’t! We are forever learning even as we get older so don’t put too much pressure on yourself . Life is a sprint not a race as they say. Ever heard of the old fable ‘The Tortoise and the haire’ , I think you could say it has a valuable lesson if you are feeling left behind.
3: Lifestyle.
Being younger, you may have not experienced as much whereas your older partner has ‘been there , done that’ . I found personally being in my 20’s that I was much more inclined to want to go out, stay up later , be more adventurous , whereas my partner spent his 20’s already doing that so this wasn’t as appealing.
ADVICE: Find something you both like doing, explore more hobbies, take turns exploring each others interests. I think it’s a great idea to have friendships of all ages . Just because a man is older doesn’t mean he is ‘boring’ , partying becomes boring eventually, you will be surprised how much fun you can have together just going for walks or going away together. You may have different ideas about ‘fun’ and take into consideration this is not one shoe fits all, just because we get older doesn’t mean life turns stale, parties can be more fun but the hangovers can be a lot worst.
4: Be prepared for judgement.
Many times I’ve been out with my partner , we get stares as I mentioned above . Take it on the chin , most people really don’t care so why should you ? People love to assume. My advice would be to simply not care , you most likely won’t see these people ever again and as long as you’re happy so be it. Most people are curious rather than judgemental. Be prepared for ‘ hey is that your sugar daddy?‘ ‘he must be rich‘ ‘ you must be a gold digger’ and the most common one ‘is that your dad?’ .
ADVICE: People can be ignorant and judgemental with the ‘out of the norm’ relationships, while we may idolise the perfect picket fence husband and wife we see on TV lets forward to 2023 were we have less and less people getting married and women are becoming more independent with flourishing careers, lets just say getting married and having kids isn’t so much of the ideal anymore. I promise you people are becoming less judgemental and of course in a world where you can be cancelled and filmed at any given moment and spread on the internet people are being less inclined to speak on their opinions but as I said prepare for stares as staring is not YET illegal. Back to my point, each relationship requires a meeting in the middle, what works for you may not work for someone else so try to lessen your concerns about others opinions. Do what makes you happy, easier said than done I know but it’s YOUR life. Age gap relationships CAN work and vice versa.
5: The past.
Dating an older man as we have discussed he may have already travelled , done a lot of things that are on your bucket list but what about past relationships? He may have already been married, had a lot more girlfriends and long term relationships , he may have had children or has children that are grown and flown the nest, of course not for everyone but it’s much more likely. Take this into consideration, it can be alot to take on any partner having children with another person. Be mindful and ask yourself if that’s something you can handle.
ADVICE: Don’t be jealous! You can’t change the past. A positive way to look at this is that maybe he’s grown from these experiences, heart break the lot! In most cases ( but not all) he has probably matured a lot from these life experiences and at an older age is more likely to settle down and take things more serious, of course this is something you won’t find out until you start taking it serious. Most guys in their 20’s -30’s aren’t looking to settle down straight away , older men in most cases DO!
Sex,drugs and mental health. 