Are you into older men or in an age gap relationship? It’s more common than you think and that doesn’t mean you have daddy issues. Maybe you like a silver fox, maybe the idea of a more accomplished man is more attractive , from experience I’m here to tell you my top 5 tips to know while dating an older man. Time and time again we have seen age gap relationships work, take Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas for example (yes a very attractive couple) who celebrated their 22nd wedding anniversary in 2022. Amazing!
I am dating someone 25 years my senior, we have been together for just over 3 years now, we started dating during Covid lockdown and soon moved in together (due to the restrictions) ,this has given me a unique perspective into seeing what it’s like to be with an older man 24 7 (literally) so let’s get into it.
I’ve never had a problem with dating an older man although, my first I can say so far so good! It can cause stereotypes and some judgement although I’ve never really had anyone have a problem with it , of course the occasional stares and “is that your daughter?” comment which is always funny, most people apologise after realising , to be honest it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, it gives us a good laugh.
If you are dating an older man please know this is completely normal and more common than you think, or course provided you are of age to make such a decision, otherwise it can be classed as grooming or damn right creepy and illegal!
That classic saying of ‘age is just a number’ can ring true. It took me a while to tell relatives about my relationship for I guess, society issues and maybe my fear of judgement. My family and friends were completely ok with it in the end, but I guess not everyone shares the same experience.
I say this with my heart – F’ what others think! It’s your life do what makes you happy and if doesn’t work out at least you have learnt. Lessons are valuable and this can resonate with any relationship, job, family life etc. Once you stop giving an F’, life becomes a whole lot easier.
Now all relationships have quarrels but being called a Millennial as an insult it quite the one! Now sure I am a Millennial blah blah blah and we were both born in different generations but frequently being told ‘back in my day we didn’t have phones, it was more fun’ or something along those lines can be causes of household debates! It’s also great to hear how much cheaper it was and how you could afford to buy a house… ok I guess I’m starting to talk like a millennial but you get my drift. The arguments can be very interesting dating an older man.
You can learn a lot from someone who has lived more years on earth, with age comes wisdom and knowledge, words of experience and encouragement. Plus I’ve found some really cool bands and artists from the 80’s that I much more enjoy listening too than modern music. He has opened my eyes too as to how women should be treated and I feel greatly appreciated for who I am. And might I add the sex is pretty damn good too!
There are many celebrity age gap relationships that have blossomed, take for example George Clooney and Amal Clooney that seemed to shock the world in 2014 with a 17 year age gap. Forward to 2023 and they are still thriving, the world doesn’t seem to care anymore. Now we all know Leonardo DiCaprio has a certain sell by date, it seems as soon as his girlfriend(s) turns 25 they are way too old, yes this is a bit bizarre and it does give a certain image of creepy but I guess all his girlfriends are over 18 (barely) and ‘hello’ its Leonardo DiCaprio so I guess he can do what he likes! Right? But it begs the question is it wrong for an older man to only want to date a younger women? I guess it could come off as ‘predator vibes’. Maturity would be a key factor here, ever heard of Peter Pan syndrome? Basically people who find it hard to grow up. Let’s be honest nobody wants a man child so bare this in mind when considering dating an older man.
5 tips on dating an older man.
1: Be prepared for compromise.
Compromise is key. All relationships have problems so bare this in mind, all relationships require some sort of compromise even if both parties are of similar age , but what compromises are needed when perhaps you are of a different generation?.
When dating we tend to gravitate towards people who may have the same music taste as us or perhaps a favorite film or TV series/hobbies and interests , sure these are not fundamental things for a successful relationship but they do help and it gives common ground for things to talk and bond over, but don’t be underwhelmed if this is not the case. I love talking to my older partner about deep issues and interesting topics, topics perhaps i’ve never thought to discuss before especially with people of my age and no we don’t end up talking about the war he’s not that old but you get the point , I found dating younger men wasn’t my cup of tea and the conversations didn’t seem to flow. Be open to new ways of looking at life.
ADVICE: learn about each other , older people can teach us great lessons in life, I’m sure you have had wise words from an older relative and it usually is the best advice so don’t be daunted by this, it’s actually a really good thing to have. Hey, he might not know much about Tik Tok or care about any of the latest Kardashian news although neither do i, just be open to all sorts. Learning about each other can be a great way to build a stable relationship, it’s exciting , mysterious and a great way to bond.
2: Different Stages in life.
Be prepared that you might be at different stages in life and that is OK. For example while dating an older man he might have already accomplished a successful career or be in a stable position whereas, you might be just starting out new and figuring things out, everyone has to start from somewhere . I think this is also a great position to be in as it gives you more free time to be able to figure out what you want while being supported . The downside to this is it could cause friction , it can be a lonely place when your trying to make something of yourself while other people around you may have it already ‘figured‘ out
ADVICE: No matter how old you are , nobody has life figured out , it’s a lie , we assume as we get older life magically figures itself out…News flash it doesn’t! We are forever learning even as we get older so don’t put too much pressure on yourself . Life is a sprint not a race as they say. Ever heard of the old fable ‘The Tortoise and the haire’ , I think you could say it has a valuable lesson if you are feeling left behind.
3: Lifestyle.
Being younger, you may have not experienced as much whereas your older partner has ‘been there , done that’ . I found personally being in my 20’s that I was much more inclined to want to go out, stay up later , be more adventurous , whereas my partner spent his 20’s already doing that so this wasn’t as appealing.
ADVICE: Find something you both like doing, explore more hobbies, take turns exploring each others interests. I think it’s a great idea to have friendships of all ages . Just because a man is older doesn’t mean he is ‘boring’ , partying becomes boring eventually, you will be surprised how much fun you can have together just going for walks or going away together. You may have different ideas about ‘fun’ and take into consideration this is not one shoe fits all, just because we get older doesn’t mean life turns stale, parties can be more fun but the hangovers can be a lot worst.
4: Be prepared for judgement.
Many times I’ve been out with my partner , we get stares as I mentioned above . Take it on the chin , most people really don’t care so why should you ? People love to assume. My advice would be to simply not care , you most likely won’t see these people ever again and as long as you’re happy so be it. Most people are curious rather than judgemental. Be prepared for ‘ hey is that your sugar daddy?‘ ‘he must be rich‘ ‘ you must be a gold digger’ and the most common one ‘is that your dad?’ .
ADVICE: People can be ignorant and judgemental with the ‘out of the norm’ relationships, while we may idolise the perfect picket fence husband and wife we see on TV lets forward to 2023 were we have less and less people getting married and women are becoming more independent with flourishing careers, lets just say getting married and having kids isn’t so much of the ideal anymore. I promise you people are becoming less judgemental and of course in a world where you can be cancelled and filmed at any given moment and spread on the internet people are being less inclined to speak on their opinions but as I said prepare for stares as staring is not YET illegal. Back to my point, each relationship requires a meeting in the middle, what works for you may not work for someone else so try to lessen your concerns about others opinions. Do what makes you happy, easier said than done I know but it’s YOUR life. Age gap relationships CAN work and vice versa.
5: The past.
Dating an older man as we have discussed he may have already travelled , done a lot of things that are on your bucket list but what about past relationships? He may have already been married, had a lot more girlfriends and long term relationships , he may have had children or has children that are grown and flown the nest, of course not for everyone but it’s much more likely. Take this into consideration, it can be alot to take on any partner having children with another person. Be mindful and ask yourself if that’s something you can handle.
ADVICE: Don’t be jealous! You can’t change the past. A positive way to look at this is that maybe he’s grown from these experiences, heart break the lot! In most cases ( but not all) he has probably matured a lot from these life experiences and at an older age is more likely to settle down and take things more serious, of course this is something you won’t find out until you start taking it serious. Most guys in their 20’s -30’s aren’t looking to settle down straight away , older men in most cases DO!
Sex,drugs and mental health. 